


Excuses

by starlightwalking



Series: A-Spectrum Anthology [13]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Fluff, M/M, Modern Middle Earth, Queerplatonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-24 20:08:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10748904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightwalking/pseuds/starlightwalking
Summary: Gimli could come up with a thousand different excuses for Legolas’s lateness, but judging by his partner’s red cheeks, none of them would be quite as ridiculous as what had actually happened.





	Excuses

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tolkienguardians](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tolkienguardians/gifts).



> Happy (extremely belated) birthday, tolkienguardians!! Thanks for this prompt, I've been wanting to write something with these two for a while now!  
> (I love my aro sons and they are wonderful together)  
> Also, I'm not sure of the setting on this? They're still elves and dwarves and in Middle-earth but also there are modern things in it. The story kind of wrote itself in places and I just went with it!

Legolas was late.

He was late to things all the time, actually; before they'd moved in together, Gimli would never have known, but now that they spent way more time together it was apparent. It wasn't just a matter of running behind, though—half the time, Legolas thought the meeting or event was at a different time, or he just forgot about it. For a prince-diplomat, he was very bad at his job—or that part of it, at least.

Legolas and Gimli were celebrities in Middle-earth, after a fashion. They were war heroes, public figures, and one of the very first elf-dwarf relationships in a very long time, and they were both men. Aside from that, and they were queerplatonic and not romantic, further confusing the press and media.

Gimli didn't mind that so much—he thrived in confusion and laughed at people's attempts to fit him into their little boxes. If he didn't even understand his own identity and sense of self, how could anyone else? And watching people try was amusing.

Legolas felt differently, but he was resigned to the wonderful strangeness of it all. For a prince, he liked privacy, but he didn't get much of it. Maybe that was why he was late all the time.

As soon as it was clear to Middle-earth that he and Legolas were some sort of "Item", whatever that meant, the burden of explaining his partner's actions fell to Gimli. This worried him at first, but after a few frank talks with Legolas, he decided to have a little fun when asked such questions.

"He just wanted to grab a sandwich," Gimli would reply when a reporter asked him why Legolas had left one business meeting early. Really, it had been because of an urgent call from his mother, but the public didn't need to know that.

"Why yes, Legolas is magic in bed," he said straight-faced on a dwarven talk show. "It's an elvish thing, I guess—you would not believe the card tricks he's shown me while I'm just trying to get some shut-eye!"

"I mean, if _I_ had the opportunity to drive around in a Shadowfax, I would too," he replied to queries of whether or not Legolas had stolen or borrowed Gandalf's fancy new car.

Gimli's made up stories drove the press wild. For awhile, they made headlines in the tabloids every single day, but eventually this became a normal occurrence and invasive questions became less and less common. It was a win-win situation; Legolas's privacy was protected while Gimli got to have fun.

Meetings were another matter. Gimli went to most of the same ones as Legolas did, but he was usually prompt, even without an ultrafast car. For awhile, Gimli didn't bother making up excuses and simply apologized for his partner's lateness, but eventually he got bored of that. Knowing Legolas wouldn't mind and that his friends would get a laugh out of it, he started to mess around in more formal situations, too.

"Where's Legolas?" Aragorn asked when Gimli walked into a meeting in Minas Tirith without him.

He shrugged. Aragorn was a friend, or he would have shot back with a snarky comment. "Coming, probably."

Other people trickled in; eventually, Legolas was the only one missing, and the meeting should have started five minutes ago.

"Where's Prince Legolas?" a stranger asked grumpily.

This was the first time Gimli came up with an excuse in this sort of situation. Not pausing to think too much, he turned to the questioner and replied casually, "Oh, he said he'd be late, he's stuck in traffic in Eriador."

"Eriador?!" exclaimed Aragorn.

Just as everyone present was lost in confusion, Legolas hurried in through the door.

"Sorry I'm late," he panted, sitting down next to Gimli. "Traffic. You know."

Gimli wasn't sure what made him feel better: Legolas squeezing his hand under the table, or the alarmed and befuddled looks on everyone's faces as they tried to process how Legolas had gotten from Eriador to Gondor in ten seconds flat. Only Aragorn seemed to have figured out what was going on, and he flashed Gimli an amused but exasperated glance as the meeting finally began.

The more it happened, the more Gimli had fun doing it.

"He forgot he had a pedicure scheduled at the same time as the photoshoot," he 'explained' to a photographer, which was how he got himself a half-hour exclusive shoot before Legolas showed up.

"He's settling a peace treaty between two rival wolf packs in the mountains," he said confidently at a party to a group of young human women who were very disappointed their idol didn't show up, but were even more frustrated when Legolas only paid attention to him upon arriving.

"He's at the doctor's, getting his eleventh toe removed," he confided to Éomer at his sister's wedding reception. He didn't think Éomer ever looked at Legolas's shoe-clad feet the same way again.

The real excuses were much less interesting; Legolas was just really bad at scheduling his life. Besides, he found people's reactions almost as amusing as Gimli did, and sometimes Gimli thought he showed up late just to cause confusion.

But for _this_ meeting, Gimli was surprised at Legolas's lateness. He had organized it himself, calling together all his friends and family and high-ranking officials involved to discuss certain issues that were arising between Mirkwood and Erebor. It was of personal importance to him, and also to Gimli.

Everyone sat tapping their toes, waiting for Legolas to show up. Normally, Gimli would have just urged the person in charge to start without him, but Legolas _was_ the person in charge. The delegates were cross. Gimli's cousin, King Dáin of Erebor, was annoyed. Aragorn was mildly concerned. Thranduil was simply resigned.

Gimli wasn't worried. Legolas would show up eventually; he always did. But it was rather unfortunate that he had fallen into his bad habits on such an important occasion.

"Where is Legolas, Gimli?" asked Thranduil, breaking the silence.

Gimli bit back a retort of _You're his father, don't you know?_ He didn't keep Legolas on a rope just because they lived together! He knew Legolas had really been planning to come early to avoid just this very thing, but plans went wrong sometimes. What did they want from him?

"Getting his hair cut," he quipped. "He decided that the hobbit fashion was in. I heard he was getting a matching perm, too."

A chuckle ran through the room, easing the tension a bit. Dáin didn't look entirely sure that it was a joke.

"No, but seriously," Aragorn pressed. "Enough with the jokes. Where is he?"

"He got lost in the Misty Mountains," Gimli said, grinning.

"Gimli, be serious!" Dáin protested. "I came a long way for this meeting in serious hope of finding a resolution, and the lead diplomat won't even show up? Why, I ought to—"

At that moment, Legolas burst through the door. His eyes and hair were wild, his designer clothes ripped. He looked for all the world like a he'd run through a thorn patch all the way from his and Gimli's home.

"Are you alright?" Gimli exclaimed, rushing up to him.

Legolas gave him a quick smile, then strode over to sit in his chair at the head of the table. "I'm not late!"

"You kind of are," Aragorn pointed out.

"Can't be late to my own meeting," Legolas insisted. "Anyway, sorry for the delay."

When he didn't volunteer an explanation, Thranduil prompted, "What happened, son?"

"Doesn't matter," Legolas said, blushing slightly.

Eventually, they gave up asking. Gimli could come up with a thousand different excuses for Legolas's lateness, but judging by his partner's red cheeks, none of them would be quite as ridiculous as what had actually happened.

The meeting was resolved within a few hours. Whatever little issues had been causing the problem were simple fixes once they were broken down, and any crisis was averted. Legolas was a good negotiator...once he showed up.

Afterward, Legolas refused to answer any questions about why he had been late. Gimli didn't ask, but he fully expected to find out eventually.

When they both came home that evening, Legolas cast himself face first into the couch.

"I wasn't _late_ ," he complained. "A cat tried to kill me and made me late!"

Gimli froze in place for a moment, then burst out laughing. "A cat...tried to kill you?"

Legolas rolled over on the couch, his face in his hands. "Yes! A cat! I really meant to get there on time, too, but then there was a cat sleeping on my car that I'd never seen before, and I tried waiting for it to leave but it wouldn't go, so I tried to wake it up and it attacked me!"

Gimli sank into the couch cushions, laughing heartily. "So that's how your clothes ripped?"

"It gets worse," Legolas said moodily. "It tore me all up and pushed me off balance so I fell in the bushes by the driveway. I told you we should have gotten those removed, but you said they added to the aesthetic of our yard!"

"Aesthetic is very important," Gimli assured him. "It's worth the cost of upkeep and...whatever this counts as."

"By the time I got on the freeway, I was already late," Legolas continued. "I ran into the meeting room as fast as I could and when I got there you were all _staring_!"

"You did look pretty strange," Gimli admitted. He touched a handful of Legolas's tangled golden hair, usually so well-kept. "You still do."

Legolas sighed mournfully. "You have no sympathy."

"I do, I do," Gimli said. He leaned his head on Legolas's shoulder. "I'm sorry a cat tried to kill you. But you did fantastic at the meeting, once everyone else got over the fact that you looked like a mess. I think you even impressed Dáin."

Legolas sighed again, sounding a little more hopeful. "Really?"

"I don't think he'll forget what you looked like, though," Gimli added. "Still—a crisis averted! You did wonderful." He took Legolas's hand. "And even if that cat doesn't love you, I do."

Legolas smiled. "Thanks. I love you too."

They lay there on the couch for awhile, quiet and together, and even after Legolas left to clean himself up and get some unclawed clothes, Gimli could still feel the warm, happy feeling of love filling his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> The prompts for this fic were “I wasn’t late, a cat tried to kill me and made me late!” and “Warm”. This was really fun to write!! Also, I thought my jokes were funny, but who knows if they actually were. Thanks for reading!  
> Check me out on tumblr as [arofili](http://arofili.tumblr.com/)~


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